Every morning I come downstairs to cleaned dishes and a breakfast made and ready to heat up. Yes, my husband makes me oatmeal every morning, and I love it. I know what you’re thinking. Oatmeal? Yes, but this oatmeal is the best. I literally eat it every day of the week and never get tired of it. He made the recipe. No added sugar. It’s awesome. But this post isn’t about his oatmeal, it’s about him.
So often my husband puts things he’d like to do aside, like reading, writing or recording music, so he can help a tired mama when he gets home. He always greets his girls when he first arrives then he goes right to cleaning the dishes that I’ve haphazardly left around in an effort to stuff some food in my face, which is often hard to do with a little one.
He doesn’t complain about this. He silently and graciously serves. He’s the one working the full time job. He’s the one waking up at 4:30 to work 9 hours. He mows our lawn when we need it, even though he is not a fan of lawn care. He helps me with laundry if I need an extra hand. He spends time with us girls and cherishes us so often.
My husband is one of a kind. I couldn’t do all that without grumbling at least a little, ok let’s be honest, a lot… but he’d be in rare form to complain about such things.
Parenthood could so easily be like balancing scales, constantly comparing how much one spouse does to what the other does in the hopes that you’ve “done your do’s” and deserve some down time in solitude. But this is a fruitless journey that only ever ends in frustration and hurt. As Mark Twain so finely penned,
“Comparison is the death of joy”
Instead, healthy parenting means attempting to seamlessly work together to do all the necessary big and little things in an effort to love, and love well.